Connect with us

Health Care

Why Some Men Marry Without Sexual Attraction: A Therapist’s Insight

Published

on

young girl tensed Without Sexual Attraction
Reading Time: 5 minutes

A lot of heterosexual male clients are coming into my practice admitting they picked their partner without considering sexual attraction.

During couples therapy sessions with his partner in the room, the man will claim that he doesn’t know why he isn’t experiencing desire. Maybe it’s stress, low testosterone or feeling anxious.

But when I meet with him individually, he often tells a different story. He tells me that there is no signs my wife is not sexually attracted to me.

What you should know if there’s no sexual attraction for your partner, according to a therapist

there’s no sexual attraction for your partner

Therapist Ian Kerner says many of his male clients confide that they didn’t pick their life partner based on sexual attraction. 

A lot of heterosexual male clients are coming into my practice admitting they picked their partner without considering sexual attraction.

During couples therapy sessions with his partner in the room, the man will claim that he doesn’t know why he isn’t experiencing desire. Maybe it’s stress, low testosterone or feeling anxious.

But when I meet with him individually, he often tells a different story. He tells me he picked his partner without prioritizing genetic sexual attraction.

Why would a person pick a potential life partner without feeling the spark of sexual attraction? And can these relationships survive and thrive? Can something like sexual attraction that wasn’t there in the first place be cultivated later?

I’ve talked with many men in their 30s who have told me, “When I found the woman I wanted to marry, she checked all the boxes. Except one.”

Characteristics on that list include “being my best friend,” “will make an amazing mother,” “our friends and families get along so well,” and “she really loves me.” The one box that didn’t get ticked? Sexual attraction — and often the men didn’t even list that quality to start.

I was stunned.

hot kissing

Sexuality is the one thing that really distinguishes a romantic relationship from a platonic one: I find that it’s one kind of “relationship glue” that helps couples stay together through hard times. That’s why I’m puzzled that so many people devalue sex in picking a partner for a long-term relationship.

“Research shows that, while physical attractiveness is usually among the most important traits people desire in a romantic partner, it doesn’t actually top the list for men or women,” said Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, a research center dedicated to sexuality. “Traits like intelligence, humor, honesty and kindness are often at least as important, if not more.”

Some men have internalized an “either/or” view of women: those who make great wives and mothers and those who are sexually adventurous, according to Chicago-based sex therapist Dr. Elizabeth Perri.

“I’ve observed this in male patients who are out in the dating world and feel the pressure to pick someone whom they perceive as ‘wife material’ but without sexual attraction, rather than waiting to find a partner who is a better fit both emotionally and sexually,” Perri told me.

How important is sexual attraction in a relationship?

Good sex can help protect against psychological distress, including anxiety and depression, helps couples achieve a deeper connection, and improves relationship satisfaction.

“If a relationship is a meal, the sexual portion ought to be considered an integral part of it, such as the protein, instead of a frivolous part like dessert,” says Eva Dillon, a sex therapist based in New York City.

sexual attraction in a relationship

“In my experience, it’s possible for women to cultivate desire for a partner with considerable effort, but if a man does not have desire for his partner at the beginning of a relationship, he will never desire her,” Dillon told me. Why count on sexual attraction coming later when you can prioritize it in a partner and enjoy the benefits from the beginning?”

Still, lower levels of sexual attraction aren’t always a problem for couples, said sexologist Dr. Yvonne Fulbright.

“For some people, a lack of sexual attraction can lead to infidelity or divorce. For others, a lack of sexual attraction only becomes a problem when one tunes into societal expectations around sex and desire,” said Fulbright, who is an adjunct professorial lecturer in the department of sociology at American University in Washington, DC.

A lot of pressure is being put on couples to maintain active sex lives, and hot ones at that. People have the sense that there’s a type and quality of desire that needs to be achieved, with any disinterest in such considered a problem that needs to be solved.”

Some of my therapist colleagues caution against putting too much emphasis on the importance of immediate sexual attraction.

“We have this misconception that we must be physically attracted to someone when we first meet or there is no relationship potential. That’s just not true,” said sex therapist Dr. Rachel Needle. “Attraction can grow as you get to know someone and experience increased closeness and connection.”

How to bring the spark back in a relationship

What should you do if you and your partner are running out of sexual steam? Or if you want to turn up the heat on a relationship that didn’t have any to start with?

Fulbright cautioned against giving any sweeping advice. “Only partners can figure out the best way to manage this challenge in their relationship,” she said.

“Non-monogamy may work for some, but not others. Couples need to decide how honest to be with each other, how much this matter is a dealbreaker in staying together versus not, and how much weight should be given to this issue in light of other good things they have going for them,” she added via email.

Don’t feel that all is lost if you’re in a long-term relationship. For some couples, sexual desire can grow over time if they focus on it. “It often isn’t until our 30s that we get comfortable enough to ask for what we want in bed,” Dillon said.

But I refuse to agree with anyone who thinks that married couples will stop having sex anyway so why bother prioritizing sexual attraction.

“Many couples in their 50s can explore and expand their sexuality thanks to maturity and empty nests. For couples in their 60s, 70s and beyond who are able to expand their definition of sex beyond orgasm and co-create intimacy, sex can continue to be vibrant and rich,” Dillon added via email.

sexual attraction for your partner

And keep in mind, your sexual health is a barometer of your overall health. So if you really are experiencing an inexplicable drop in sexual interest, consider talking to your medical provider. Maybe your testosterone levels really have fallen.

Whatever the source of your lack of sexual interest, just be up-front with your partner. Honesty, as it turns out, can be a turn-on (eventually).

Health Care

Ultimate Guide: Top Cable and Leg Exercises for All Muscle Groups

Published

on

Cable and Leg Exercises for All Muscle Groups
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Are you looking for a versatile and effective way to strengthen and tone your muscles? Cable and Leg Exercises are your answer. These exercises target various muscle groups, providing a full-body workout. At Eonline360, we understand the importance of incorporating diverse exercises into your routine to achieve optimal results. 

In this guide, we’ll explore a range of exercises, including leg exercise machines, back exercises using cable, cable pec exercises, and more. Let’s dive into the world of cable & leg exercises.

Leg Exercise Machines: Building Strong Legs

Leg exercise machines are essential for anyone aiming to build strong, toned legs. These machines provide stability and allow you to target specific muscles effectively. Some popular leg exercise machines include leg press machines, hamstring curl machines, and calf raise machines. By using leg exercise machines, you can focus on strengthening your quads, hamstrings, and calves, ensuring a well-rounded leg workout.

Leg Exercise Machines

Back Exercises Using Cable: Strengthening Your Back

Cable machines are incredibly versatile and perfect for back exercises. Back exercises using cable can help you build a strong, muscular back while improving posture and preventing injuries. Some effective back exercises on cables include seated cable rows, lat pulldowns, and face pulls. These exercises target different parts of your back, including the upper, middle, and lower back muscles.

Cable Pec Exercises: Sculpting Your Chest

Cable pec exercises are excellent for sculpting and defining your chest muscles. These exercises allow for a full range of motion, providing a more effective workout compared to traditional free weights. Some popular cable pec exercises include cable chest flies, cable press, and standing cable crossover. By incorporating these exercises into your routine, you can achieve a well-defined chest.

Leg Exercise Machines

Long Head Tricep Exercises: Building Bigger Arms

The long head of the tricep is crucial for overall arm size and strength. Long head tricep exercises, such as overhead cable tricep extensions and cable tricep pushdowns, are effective in targeting this muscle. These exercises help in developing the back of your arms, giving you a more balanced and muscular look.

Short Head Bicep Exercises: Enhancing Your Biceps

To achieve well-rounded biceps, it’s essential to target both the long head and the short head of the bicep. Short head bicep exercises, like cable curls and concentration curls, focus on the inner part of your biceps, enhancing their peak and overall appearance. Including these exercises in your routine ensures balanced bicep development.

Back Exercises on Cables: Comprehensive Back Workouts

Back exercises on cables provide a comprehensive workout for your back muscles. By using cables, you can perform a variety of exercises that target different areas of your back. Some effective back cable exercises include cable pulldowns, single-arm cable rows, and cable pullovers. These exercises help in building a strong, muscular back while improving overall back health.

Back Exercises on Cables

Cable Shoulder Exercises: Defining Your Shoulders

Cable shoulder exercises are perfect for defining and strengthening your shoulders. These exercises provide constant tension, leading to better muscle activation and growth. Some effective cable shoulder exercises include cable lateral raises, front raises, and reverse flyes. By incorporating these exercises into your routine, you can achieve well-defined shoulders.

Chest Cable Exercises: Maximising Chest Development

Chest cable exercises are excellent for maximising chest development. These exercises allow for a greater range of motion, leading to better muscle activation and growth. Some effective chest cable exercises include cable flyes, cable press, and cable crossovers. By incorporating these exercises into your routine, you can achieve a well-defined chest.

Hip Impingement Exercises: Improving Hip Mobility

Hip impingement exercises are essential for improving hip mobility and preventing injuries. These exercises help in stretching and strengthening the hip muscles, improving overall hip function. Some effective hip impingement exercises include hip flexor stretches, glute bridges, and hip abductions. By incorporating these exercises into your routine, you can improve hip mobility and reduce the risk of injuries.

Cable and Leg Exercises for All Muscle Groups

Leg Exercise Equipment: Essential Tools for Leg Workouts

Leg exercise equipment is essential for anyone looking to build strong, toned legs. This equipment includes leg press machines, hamstring curl machines, and calf raise machines. By using leg exercise equipment, you can focus on strengthening your quads, hamstrings, and calves, ensuring a well-rounded leg workout.

Medial Head Tricep Exercises: Targeting the Inner Tricep

The medial head of the tricep is crucial for overall arm strength and definition. Medial head tricep exercises, such as cable pushdowns and close-grip bench press, are effective in targeting this muscle. These exercises help in developing the inner part of your triceps, giving you a more balanced and muscular look.

Conclusion

Incorporating cable & leg exercises into your fitness routine is essential for building strength, improving muscle definition, and achieving a balanced physique. At Eonline360, we believe in providing comprehensive guides to help you reach your fitness goals

Cable and Leg Exercises for All Muscle Groups

Whether you’re using leg exercise machines, performing back exercises using cable, or targeting specific muscle groups, our guide covers it all. Remember to repeat each exercise 3-4 times for optimal results. Happy exercising!

Continue Reading

Health Care

Best 10 Habits For A Healthy Lifestyle

Published

on

Young woman jogging outdoors on bridge. for healthy lifestyle.
Reading Time: 4 minutes

A healthy lifestyle is built on long-term behaviors such as eating well, keeping a healthy weight, exercising regularly, managing your mental health, and receiving regular medical checks. However, taking little efforts toward these goals on a regular basis can have a tremendous influence.

Here are some techniques that can help you continue your health journey. While it may be unrealistic to follow them constantly, strive to incorporate them into your daily life as much as possible.

A young Indian woman in a green tracksuit performs yoga

Top 10 healthy lifestyle Tips

Do a morning stretch: Stretching before getting out of bed stimulates the body, improves circulation, and promotes relaxation, all of which assist to set the tone for the day. While still lying in bed, pull the blankets apart and flex and release your lower limbs numerous times.

Bend your knees and raise your legs into the air. Flex your feet up and down while keeping your legs upright. Rotate them side to side. Next, sit up and slowly glance left and right. Roll your shoulders a few times. Flex your wrists up and down, then open and close your hands repeatedly.

Stay hydrated: Proper hydration aids digestion, enhances cognitive function, and boosts energy levels, among other health benefits. Drink a large glass of water when you get up and with each meal.

Happy daughter with parents jogging at park

Floss: Maintaining good oral health requires frequent flossing, but be sure you do it correctly. First, wrap the floss around your middle fingers to reach the back teeth. Then, loop the floss around one side of a tooth to form a C shape.

Start at the gum line and move it up and down the tooth numerous times. (Do not move the floss in a sawing motion. You don’t clean the entire tooth, and the friction can irritate the gums. Repeat on the opposite side of the tooth, then the remaining teeth.

Apply sunscreen: Sunscreen is the most effective protection against skin-damaging radiation. After washing your face in the morning, use a facial moisturizer that contains sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30. Or mix equal parts sunscreen and regular moisturizer. Apply one or two nickel-sized dollops to your entire face, neck, ears, and any bald or thinning areas on your head.

home made healthy food

Go nuts: When you want a snack, opt for unsalted nuts and seeds such as almonds, walnuts, peanuts, and cashews. They include a variety of nutrients and assist to reduce cravings for highly processed foods. Nuts are heavy in calories, so stick to a palm-sized piece.

Nap: Afternoon naps help replenish a tired body and improve cognitive performance. In a research published online on Jan. 25, 2021, by General Psychiatry, nappers outperformed non-nappers in cognition tests.

The researchers discovered that shorter and less frequent naps—lasting less than 30 minutes and occurring no more than four times a week—provided the most benefit. Schedule naps in the early afternoon and use a timer to avoid oversleeping.

Bust some moves: Interrupt long periods of sitting with short spurts of movement. Instead of walking, dance across the room. When you clean your teeth, suck in your lower belly for 30 seconds to stimulate your abdominal muscles.

Perform ten air squats or push-ups (on the floor or on the kitchen counter). Make it a practice to stand up “twice” each time you stand up, which means getting up, sitting back down, and then getting back up.

Woman practices balance yoga asana Vrikshasana tree pose

Take a breather: Alternate-nostril breathing, which involves breathing through one nostril at a time, is said to help relieve tension by slowing your breathing rhythm and pushing you to take deep, complete breaths. Close one nostril with a finger or thumb, then slowly breathe in and out through the other.

After five to ten breaths, swap and close the other nostril, then resume the breathing cycle. Inhale through one nostril while keeping the other closed, then change finger/thumb positions and exhale through the previously closed nostril. Then inhale through one nostril, close it, and exhale through the other. Repeat this for a few minutes.

Enjoy a hobby: According to a study published online by Nature Medicine on September 11, 2023, having a hobby can improve one’s overall health and attitude. Hobbies provide creativity, sensory engagement, self-expression, relaxation, and cognitive stimulation.

A project kit meant to teach you a skill such as gardening, model building, wood carving, or the creation of beer, soap, hot sauce, or jewelry is one method to start a new pastime. The kits include instructions and all of the necessary ingredients to get started. Kits can be found in local bookstores or hobby stores, or online by typing “how-to kits” or “project kits” into a search engine.

Be social: Social connections can help to prevent loneliness, depression, and cognitive deterioration. Every day, make an effort to engage in some form of social interaction, such as calling a neighbor, sending an email, or chatting with them.

Another alternative is to form your own social pod, which is a small, intimate group with whom you contact on a regular basis, such as gathering for coffee or speaking via Zoom call. Casual chats are also beneficial; for example, talk to a grocery store staff or converse with a stranger on the street.

Healthy Lifestyle

In short: Incorporating these best ten habits into your daily routine can significantly contribute to a healthier lifestyle. From morning stretches to social interactions, each practice offers unique benefits for physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Remember, it’s not about perfection but about making consistent efforts towards a healthier you.

Continue Reading

Health Care

US Government Will Require More Testing, Tracking Of Bird Flu In Dairy Cows

Published

on

The USDA will require testing of dairy cows
Reading Time: 3 minutes

The US Department of Agriculture announced Wednesday that it is issuing a federal order requiring additional testing and reporting of H5N1 influenza, also known as bird flu, in dairy cows.

The USDA formerly required reporting of H5N1 influenza in poultry and wild birds, but producers were not obligated to notify the government if cows tested positive. This impeded the USDA’s investigation into the present outbreak in cattle. Since instances were discovered in dairy cows in Texas and Kansas in late March, 33 farms in eight states have reported cases.

Bird flu testing in dairy cows

The new order is part of a slate of measures the government is taking to address H5N1 flu, which has been devastating to bird populations and recently began to infect an increasing number of mammals, potentially bringing it a step closer to being able to spread efficiently between people.

The USDA said at a multiagency news conference Wednesday that the new order would help it get more information on the growing outbreak.

“There has been a little bit of reluctance for some of the producers to allow us to gather information from their farms,” said Dr. Michael Watson, administrator of the USDA’s Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service or APHIS.

“With the federal order going into place, this is going to really help us address any gaps that might exist.”

 H5N1

The order will require that dairy cattle moving between states be tested for avian flu or any type of influenza A before they can travel. No dairy cattle positive for avian flu may move between states without conditions specified by APHIS, Watson said.

Right now, the order doesn’t apply to cattle raised as beef, but the USDA said that could change as it learns more about how the virus is spreading. Experts currently believe the virus is being spread through infected milk.

Watson said the order also gives the government the authority to go to a facility where cattle have tested positive and follow up with additional testing and investigation if needed.

“Requiring positive test reporting will help USDA better understand the disease, and testing before interstate movement will limit the spread of the virus,” he said.

The tests have to be sent to a lab, and it could take several days to get results, Watson said, but the government is working on developing rapid tests that could give results more quickly on the farm.

testing for H5N1 for farms

The order says the US government will pay for the cost of testing for H5N1 for farms, even if animals don’t have symptoms.

The H5N1 virus spreading in cows has not been shown to spread from person to person, and the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says the public health risk is low.Only one person, a farmworker in Texas, has tested positive in connection to the outbreak. The CDC says 22 other people have been tested for the virus, and states are monitoring 44 others who were considered exposed and at risk of infection.

The CDC said it is looking into the possibility of monitoring wastewater for the virus, but many farms are not on municipal systems, and there are questions about whether contamination from birds or other infected wildlife might make the results unusable.

The US Food and Drug Administration

The US Food and Drug Administration said Tuesday that it had picked up traces of genetic material from the virus in milk from grocery store shelves.

The FDA and the CDC have long warned against the dangers of drinking raw or unpasteurized milk because of the possibility that it may carry dangerous germs.

The FDA doesn’t believe that pasteurized dairy products can lead to infections, but it’s running confirmatory tests to make sure.

“We anticipate results from those studies will be made available in the next few days to weeks,” Don Prater, acting director of the FDA’s Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition, said during Wednesday’s news conference.

Prater declined to say where the milk that showed traces of the virus had been purchased or how widespread the outbreak might be.

“We don’t have information yet to share, but it will be coming out very shortly,” he said.

Continue Reading

Trending