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Why Some Men Marry Without Sexual Attraction: A Therapist’s Insight

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young girl tensed Without Sexual Attraction
Reading Time: 5 minutes

A lot of heterosexual male clients are coming into my practice admitting they picked their partner without considering sexual attraction.

During couples therapy sessions with his partner in the room, the man will claim that he doesn’t know why he isn’t experiencing desire. Maybe it’s stress, low testosterone or feeling anxious.

But when I meet with him individually, he often tells a different story. He tells me that there is no signs my wife is not sexually attracted to me.

What you should know if there’s no sexual attraction for your partner, according to a therapist

there’s no sexual attraction for your partner

Therapist Ian Kerner says many of his male clients confide that they didn’t pick their life partner based on sexual attraction. 

A lot of heterosexual male clients are coming into my practice admitting they picked their partner without considering sexual attraction.

During couples therapy sessions with his partner in the room, the man will claim that he doesn’t know why he isn’t experiencing desire. Maybe it’s stress, low testosterone or feeling anxious.

But when I meet with him individually, he often tells a different story. He tells me he picked his partner without prioritizing genetic sexual attraction.

Why would a person pick a potential life partner without feeling the spark of sexual attraction? And can these relationships survive and thrive? Can something like sexual attraction that wasn’t there in the first place be cultivated later?

I’ve talked with many men in their 30s who have told me, “When I found the woman I wanted to marry, she checked all the boxes. Except one.”

Characteristics on that list include “being my best friend,” “will make an amazing mother,” “our friends and families get along so well,” and “she really loves me.” The one box that didn’t get ticked? Sexual attraction — and often the men didn’t even list that quality to start.

I was stunned.

hot kissing

Sexuality is the one thing that really distinguishes a romantic relationship from a platonic one: I find that it’s one kind of “relationship glue” that helps couples stay together through hard times. That’s why I’m puzzled that so many people devalue sex in picking a partner for a long-term relationship.

“Research shows that, while physical attractiveness is usually among the most important traits people desire in a romantic partner, it doesn’t actually top the list for men or women,” said Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, a research center dedicated to sexuality. “Traits like intelligence, humor, honesty and kindness are often at least as important, if not more.”

Some men have internalized an “either/or” view of women: those who make great wives and mothers and those who are sexually adventurous, according to Chicago-based sex therapist Dr. Elizabeth Perri.

“I’ve observed this in male patients who are out in the dating world and feel the pressure to pick someone whom they perceive as ‘wife material’ but without sexual attraction, rather than waiting to find a partner who is a better fit both emotionally and sexually,” Perri told me.

How important is sexual attraction in a relationship?

Good sex can help protect against psychological distress, including anxiety and depression, helps couples achieve a deeper connection, and improves relationship satisfaction.

“If a relationship is a meal, the sexual portion ought to be considered an integral part of it, such as the protein, instead of a frivolous part like dessert,” says Eva Dillon, a sex therapist based in New York City.

sexual attraction in a relationship

“In my experience, it’s possible for women to cultivate desire for a partner with considerable effort, but if a man does not have desire for his partner at the beginning of a relationship, he will never desire her,” Dillon told me. Why count on sexual attraction coming later when you can prioritize it in a partner and enjoy the benefits from the beginning?”

Still, lower levels of sexual attraction aren’t always a problem for couples, said sexologist Dr. Yvonne Fulbright.

“For some people, a lack of sexual attraction can lead to infidelity or divorce. For others, a lack of sexual attraction only becomes a problem when one tunes into societal expectations around sex and desire,” said Fulbright, who is an adjunct professorial lecturer in the department of sociology at American University in Washington, DC.

A lot of pressure is being put on couples to maintain active sex lives, and hot ones at that. People have the sense that there’s a type and quality of desire that needs to be achieved, with any disinterest in such considered a problem that needs to be solved.”

Some of my therapist colleagues caution against putting too much emphasis on the importance of immediate sexual attraction.

“We have this misconception that we must be physically attracted to someone when we first meet or there is no relationship potential. That’s just not true,” said sex therapist Dr. Rachel Needle. “Attraction can grow as you get to know someone and experience increased closeness and connection.”

How to bring the spark back in a relationship

What should you do if you and your partner are running out of sexual steam? Or if you want to turn up the heat on a relationship that didn’t have any to start with?

Fulbright cautioned against giving any sweeping advice. “Only partners can figure out the best way to manage this challenge in their relationship,” she said.

“Non-monogamy may work for some, but not others. Couples need to decide how honest to be with each other, how much this matter is a dealbreaker in staying together versus not, and how much weight should be given to this issue in light of other good things they have going for them,” she added via email.

Don’t feel that all is lost if you’re in a long-term relationship. For some couples, sexual desire can grow over time if they focus on it. “It often isn’t until our 30s that we get comfortable enough to ask for what we want in bed,” Dillon said.

But I refuse to agree with anyone who thinks that married couples will stop having sex anyway so why bother prioritizing sexual attraction.

“Many couples in their 50s can explore and expand their sexuality thanks to maturity and empty nests. For couples in their 60s, 70s and beyond who are able to expand their definition of sex beyond orgasm and co-create intimacy, sex can continue to be vibrant and rich,” Dillon added via email.

sexual attraction for your partner

And keep in mind, your sexual health is a barometer of your overall health. So if you really are experiencing an inexplicable drop in sexual interest, consider talking to your medical provider. Maybe your testosterone levels really have fallen.

Whatever the source of your lack of sexual interest, just be up-front with your partner. Honesty, as it turns out, can be a turn-on (eventually).

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Disney & Bath & Body Works Unveil Enchanting Princess Collection

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Disney Princess Fragrance Collection Unveiled!

Reading Time: 3 minutesIn an exciting new collaboration, Disney is teaming up with Bath & Body Works to launch a brand-new fragrance and body care collection inspired by some of the most beloved Disney princesses. This marks the first major partnership of its kind between the two iconic brands, bringing a magical touch to self-care routines everywhere.

A Fairytale Fragrance Collection

The collection will spotlight six Disney princesses, each with a unique scent crafted to capture their essence and the world they inhabit. From the enchanting aroma of gardenias for Cinderella to the tropical allure of plumeria for Moana, the collection aims to transport fans straight into their favorite Disney fairytales.

Liz Shortreed, Disney’s Senior Vice President for Consumer Products, expressed excitement about the collaboration, emphasizing the personal connection many fans feel toward Disney princesses. “Consumers can choose who they relate to most,” Shortreed said, highlighting how the fragrances were thoughtfully designed to reflect each princess’s personality.

Betsy Schumacher, Chief Merchandising Officer at Bath & Body Works, shared insights on the creative process behind the collection. “We wanted to personify each princess and also think about the environment she’s in. What does it smell like where she is? How do we bring our signature scents into the world of princesses?”

A Grand Selection of Products

The Disney Princess x Bath & Body Works collection will feature 85 different products, offering a variety of options for every fan. Shoppers can expect to find:

  • Fine fragrance mists
  • Body washes
  • Lotions
  • Lip glosses
  • Candles
  • Decorative accessories

Prices for the collection will range from $1.95 to $99.95, ensuring accessibility for every budget. The highly anticipated collection will be available in stores and online starting Sunday, February 16. However, members of Bath & Body Works’ rewards program will get early access through the retailer’s website and app on February 11 and 12.Disney Princess Fragrance Collection Unveiled!

Bringing Princesses to Life Through Scent

Designers at Bath & Body Works handpicked a princess and immersed themselves in her story, carefully curating scents that encapsulate her spirit. Schumacher expressed admiration for the team’s creative dedication: “It came to life because the designers were able to get into the world of the princesses and truly bring their essence to our products.”

Here’s a closer look at the featured princesses and their signature fragrances:

  • Tiana: Inspired by her ambition and perseverance, Tiana’s fragrance features delicate water lily, gilded amber, and shimmering bayou woods.
  • Moana: Representing her fearless and adventurous nature, Moana’s scent includes lush green palms, plumeria breeze, and coconut water.
  • Jasmine: Embodying her independence and free spirit, Jasmine’s fragrance combines sparkling jasmine flower, jeweled currants, and soft woods with a touch of oud.
  • Cinderella: Capturing her optimism and elegance, Cinderella’s scent blends gardenia petals, enchanting musk, and sapphire blue amber.
  • Belle: Inspired by her love of knowledge and inner beauty, Belle’s fragrance includes rose petals, sparkling buttercup, and whipped vanilla.
  • Ariel: Reflecting her courage and determination, Ariel’s scent features sea salt breeze, golden citrus, and coral waters.Disney Princess Fragrance Collection Unveiled!

A Future of Enchantment?

With such a dazzling lineup, fans may be wondering if more Disney princesses will join the collection in the future. While nothing is confirmed yet, Shortreed hinted at the possibility of expansion. “We’re obviously hopeful that consumers respond well to it,” she said. “It’s our intent to continue our relationship with Bath & Body Works, so you’ll have to watch this space to see what comes next.”

This collaboration isn’t just about fragrances—it’s about bringing a touch of Disney magic to everyday life. Whether you resonate with the resilience of Ariel, the wisdom of Belle, or the adventurous spirit of Moana, there’s a scent in this collection for every princess at heart.

Where and When to Shop

Mark your calendars! The Disney Princess x Bath & Body Works collection launches on February 16, available both in stores and online. If you’re a Bath & Body Works rewards member, you’ll have the chance to shop early on February 11 and 12 through the retailer’s website and mobile app.

Whether you’re a lifelong Disney fan, a fragrance enthusiast, or simply someone who enjoys a little extra magic in your beauty routine, this collection is set to be a must-have. Get ready to embrace the essence of your favorite Disney princess and step into a world of fantasy and fragrance!

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Nicholas Galitzine Joins Emporio Armani as Fragrance Icon

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Nicholas Galitzine Emporio Armani's New Fragrance Icon

Reading Time: 4 minutesEmporio Armani has acquainted a new face with its worldwide scent crusade, introducing another time of tastefulness and present day manliness. English entertainer Nicholas Galitzine has been named the worldwide scent diplomat for Emporio Armani, a move that consistently mixes his enamoring on-screen presence with the brand’s tradition of immortal refinement. This declaration matches with the send off of the refreshed More grounded With You Parfum assortment, a scent that exemplifies a refined at this point contemporary allure.

A Rising Star in Hollywood and Style

Nicholas Galitzine has been consistently transforming media outlets with champion exhibitions in movies like Purple Hearts, Red, White and Regal Blue, The Possibility of You, and the hit parody Bottoms. His capacity to carry profundity and genuineness to his characters has enraptured crowds around the world, procuring him a standing as one of the most encouraging entertainers of his age. Presently, his evident appeal and easy style stand out of one of the world’s most esteemed design houses, Emporio Armani.

Armani Magnificence communicated their excitement over the cooperation, expressing, “We are excited to invite Nicholas Galitzine as our new worldwide scent representative. His regular appeal and easy style exemplify the actual quintessence of the Emporio Armani brand.” This organization is supposed to carry a new viewpoint to the scent crusade, reclassifying extravagance for another age of scent lovers.

The Ideal Pair: Galitzine and Emporio Armani

Nicholas Galitzine’s relationship with Emporio Armani appears to be practically predetermined. His ready yet contemporary tasteful adjusts flawlessly with the brand’s character, making him an ideal minister for its aroma line. Whether gracing honorary pathway in customized Armani suits or radiating trust in relaxed environments, Galitzine typifies a feeling of present day manliness that resounds with Emporio Armani’s qualities.Nicholas Galitzine Emporio Armani's New Fragrance Icon

This cooperation likewise flags Emporio Armani’s obligation to mixing exemplary refinement with energetic energy. With Galitzine at the front, the scent crusade is set to engage a different crowd, catching the consideration of both long-term Armani enthusiasts and a more youthful segment anxious to embrace the brand’s particular class.

The Reevaluation of More grounded With You Parfum

The planning of this coordinated effort couldn’t be more great, as Emporio Armani divulges its reconsidered More grounded With You Parfum assortment. Known for its warm, sexy, and profoundly dazzling aroma, More grounded With You has been a #1 among scent devotees since its underlying send off. The refreshed rendition presents a more extravagant, more refined mix that upgrades the scent’s unique notes while keeping up with its unique appeal.

With Galitzine driving the mission, the aroma is supposed to have a considerably more prominent effect. His capacity to easily progress among complexity and receptiveness reflects the substance of More grounded With You — a fragrance that oozes certainty, enthusiasm, and immortal charm.

Another Period of Aroma Promoting

Industry specialists guess that Nicholas Galitzine’s contribution in Emporio Armani’s scent mission will bring a new, unique energy to the brand’s promoting systems. Customarily, extravagance aroma crusades have depended on laid out figures from the style and entertainment worlds. Notwithstanding, Galitzine addresses a shift towards a more contemporary, interesting methodology — one that underscores independence and legitimacy.Nicholas Galitzine Emporio Armani's New Fragrance Icon

His excursion from rising entertainer to worldwide design diplomat mirrors the developing scene of extravagance marking, where character and narrating are just about as fundamental as style. By picking Galitzine, Emporio Armani is embracing another time in which scent isn’t simply an extravagance thing however an expansion of one’s character and individual story.

The Eventual fate of the Association

As Nicholas Galitzine sets out on this new section with Emporio Armani, fans and design aficionados the same are anxious to perceive how this coordinated effort unfurls. The mission, which will carry out internationally, is supposed to highlight a progression of outwardly shocking promotions, computerized content, and restrictive in the background looks into Galitzine’s insight as an Armani representative.

Additionally, his presence in the mission could prepare for additional joint efforts with the brand, possibly stretching out past aromas to different parts of Armani’s style and way of life realm. Given Galitzine’s developing impact in both Hollywood and the design world, this organization is ready to be a vital turning point in his profession.Nicholas Galitzine Emporio Armani's New Fragrance Icon

Determination: A Match Made in Extravagance

Nicholas Galitzine’s arrangement as Emporio Armani‘s worldwide scent envoy is something beyond a business move — it’s a festival of style, charm, and present day manliness. With his irrefutable ability and attractive presence, he is set to hoist the More grounded With You Parfum assortment and cement his position in the realm of high style.

As the mission unfurls, one thing is sure: this joint effort is an ideal mix of immortal tastefulness and contemporary appeal, denoting the start of an interesting new section for both Nicholas Galitzine and Emporio Armani. Fans can anticipate a vivid scent experience that catches the pith of extravagance as well as reclassifies it for another age.

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Hunter Schafer’s Beauty Inspiration The Virgin Suicides & Effortless Glam

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Hunter Schafer Beauty Effortless Glam & Iconic Looks

Reading Time: 4 minutesTracker Schafer is known for her courageous way to deal with design, continually pushing limits with high-risk, high-reward looks. Working intimately with beautician Dara Allen, she has developed an unmistakable stylish that consistently mixes cutting edge design with classic motivated pieces. Notwithstanding, her joint effort with beautician Jillian Halouska really rejuvenates her magnificence vision. Schafer’s consistently developing hair minutes are rich with references, drawing motivation from social symbols and artistic works of art.

At Paris Couture Week, where dream and gentility became the overwhelming focus, Schafer showed up at Ludovic de Holy person Sernin’s visitor assortment for Jean Paul Gaultier. She completely embraced the show’s ethereal and insubordinate subjects, wearing a plunging white ribbon peplum top matched with trimmed erupted jeans and dark pattern heels. Her hair was a pivotal piece of the troupe, radiating an easily scattered, somewhat turbulent charm.

As per Halouska, Schafer’s hairdo was a blend of two notorious motivations: the unique, brave energy of a privateer (suggestive of Keira Knightley’s personality in Privateers of the Caribbean) and the grit mixed, nonchalant tasteful of Kate Greenery during her party-young lady time. The outcome was a disheveled, incompletely ideal outpouring of waves that felt both hot and casual.

Creating the “Flawed but still great” Hairdo

To accomplish this look, Halouska utilized a munititions stockpile of styling items, including Oribe Gold Desire Sustaining Hair Oil for sparkle, Endlessly blunder Sumo Fluid Wax Splash for surface, and various hair curlers to make different wave designs.

She twisted irregular segments of Schafer’s hair with various estimated irons, then, at that point, roughened the waves utilizing the cool setting on a blow dryer to give a normally windblown impact. A few strands were left straighter, while others were scrunched to make a complex surface. A liberal utilization of hair oil gave the style a lived-in quality, while the splash wax at the roots permitted the hair to flip easily aside. At last, Halouska cut a couple of face-outlining parts of wrap over Schafer’s eye, adding a demeanor of secret and free enterprise class.

“It’s a tribute to defect,” Halouska made sense of. “It’s attractive, easy, and appears as though she’s simply ventured off the dance floor following an inconceivable evening out on the town.”Hunter Schafer Beauty Effortless Glam & Iconic Looks

An Eccentric Look Enlivened by The Virgin Suicides

Schafer kept on trying different things with her excellence stylish sometime thereafter at an advantage for Helps noble cause Sidaction. She diverted an ethereal, nearly pixie like style in an off-the-shoulder cream Jean Paul Gaultier dress, which she matched with an organized dark calfskin coat for a striking difference.

For this look, her hair was styled in lengthy, streaming waves with fragile miniature plaits outlining her face. Halouska took motivation from Sofia Coppola’s famous film The Virgin Suicides, which has for some time been a most loved reference in the style world for its marvelous, nostalgic stylish.

To accomplish this delicate, heartfelt look, Halouska applied Shu Uemura Grease to add sparkle and utilized Sisley Hairspray to structure the interlaces while keeping a characteristic vibe. Endlessly blunder Stylist’s Imperceptible Oil Lightweight Sparkle Completing Splash was then clouded over the hair to upgrade its non-abrasiveness and development.

The Specialty of the Ideal Miniature Plait

Miniature plaits, however apparently easy, require accuracy. Halouska shared a few fundamental ways to accomplish Schafer’s fragile face-outlining meshes.

Clean Splitting: Utilize a fine-tooth look over to make a perfect segment for the interlaces.

Secure Strands: Use barrettes to keep the remainder of the hair far removed while twisting.

Use Styling Glue: Applying a modest quantity of grease or styling glue to fingertips prior to twisting guarantees a smooth completion and forestalls flyaways.

Anchor the Plait: Begin the twist at the hairline, taking care of in just top segments for a complimenting, face-outlining impact.

Secure It: Proceed with the twist until the scruff of the neck and secure it prudently with a pin for a consistent mix.

By following these means, Halouska guaranteed that Schafer’s miniature interlaces remained in one piece without looking excessively solid or over-styled. The outcome was an impeccably adjusted look — fragile, idyllic, and inconspicuously fun loving.Hunter Schafer Beauty Effortless Glam & Iconic Looks

Tracker Schafer’s Consistently Advancing Magnificence Tasteful

Schafer’s capacity to sway between various magnificence personas makes her such an astonishing style symbol. From the alarm like disheveled waves at Paris Couture Week to the unconventional, practically powerful miniature plaits at the Sidaction benefit, her looks generally recount a story.

Halouska summarized it impeccably: “Her hair has its very own character — it’s lively, alluring, and nostalgic, yet still feels extraordinarily present day.”

The previous spring at the Cannes Film Celebration, Schafer shocked in a milkmaid-motivated white cut skirt dress, finished off with a beguiling Prada headscarf. Whether she’s directing a 90s It-young lady, a realistic ingénue, or a defiant privateer, her magnificence decisions remain refreshingly startling and easily cool.

With Schafer’s daring way to deal with style, one can ponder — what film, period, or social reference will rouse her next groundbreaking excellence second?

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