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Why Some Men Marry Without Sexual Attraction: A Therapist’s Insight

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young girl tensed Without Sexual Attraction
Reading Time: 5 minutes

A lot of heterosexual male clients are coming into my practice admitting they picked their partner without considering sexual attraction.

During couples therapy sessions with his partner in the room, the man will claim that he doesn’t know why he isn’t experiencing desire. Maybe it’s stress, low testosterone or feeling anxious.

But when I meet with him individually, he often tells a different story. He tells me that there is no signs my wife is not sexually attracted to me.

What you should know if there’s no sexual attraction for your partner, according to a therapist

there’s no sexual attraction for your partner

Therapist Ian Kerner says many of his male clients confide that they didn’t pick their life partner based on sexual attraction. 

A lot of heterosexual male clients are coming into my practice admitting they picked their partner without considering sexual attraction.

During couples therapy sessions with his partner in the room, the man will claim that he doesn’t know why he isn’t experiencing desire. Maybe it’s stress, low testosterone or feeling anxious.

But when I meet with him individually, he often tells a different story. He tells me he picked his partner without prioritizing genetic sexual attraction.

Why would a person pick a potential life partner without feeling the spark of sexual attraction? And can these relationships survive and thrive? Can something like sexual attraction that wasn’t there in the first place be cultivated later?

I’ve talked with many men in their 30s who have told me, “When I found the woman I wanted to marry, she checked all the boxes. Except one.”

Characteristics on that list include “being my best friend,” “will make an amazing mother,” “our friends and families get along so well,” and “she really loves me.” The one box that didn’t get ticked? Sexual attraction — and often the men didn’t even list that quality to start.

I was stunned.

hot kissing

Sexuality is the one thing that really distinguishes a romantic relationship from a platonic one: I find that it’s one kind of “relationship glue” that helps couples stay together through hard times. That’s why I’m puzzled that so many people devalue sex in picking a partner for a long-term relationship.

“Research shows that, while physical attractiveness is usually among the most important traits people desire in a romantic partner, it doesn’t actually top the list for men or women,” said Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, a research center dedicated to sexuality. “Traits like intelligence, humor, honesty and kindness are often at least as important, if not more.”

Some men have internalized an “either/or” view of women: those who make great wives and mothers and those who are sexually adventurous, according to Chicago-based sex therapist Dr. Elizabeth Perri.

“I’ve observed this in male patients who are out in the dating world and feel the pressure to pick someone whom they perceive as ‘wife material’ but without sexual attraction, rather than waiting to find a partner who is a better fit both emotionally and sexually,” Perri told me.

How important is sexual attraction in a relationship?

Good sex can help protect against psychological distress, including anxiety and depression, helps couples achieve a deeper connection, and improves relationship satisfaction.

“If a relationship is a meal, the sexual portion ought to be considered an integral part of it, such as the protein, instead of a frivolous part like dessert,” says Eva Dillon, a sex therapist based in New York City.

sexual attraction in a relationship

“In my experience, it’s possible for women to cultivate desire for a partner with considerable effort, but if a man does not have desire for his partner at the beginning of a relationship, he will never desire her,” Dillon told me. Why count on sexual attraction coming later when you can prioritize it in a partner and enjoy the benefits from the beginning?”

Still, lower levels of sexual attraction aren’t always a problem for couples, said sexologist Dr. Yvonne Fulbright.

“For some people, a lack of sexual attraction can lead to infidelity or divorce. For others, a lack of sexual attraction only becomes a problem when one tunes into societal expectations around sex and desire,” said Fulbright, who is an adjunct professorial lecturer in the department of sociology at American University in Washington, DC.

A lot of pressure is being put on couples to maintain active sex lives, and hot ones at that. People have the sense that there’s a type and quality of desire that needs to be achieved, with any disinterest in such considered a problem that needs to be solved.”

Some of my therapist colleagues caution against putting too much emphasis on the importance of immediate sexual attraction.

“We have this misconception that we must be physically attracted to someone when we first meet or there is no relationship potential. That’s just not true,” said sex therapist Dr. Rachel Needle. “Attraction can grow as you get to know someone and experience increased closeness and connection.”

How to bring the spark back in a relationship

What should you do if you and your partner are running out of sexual steam? Or if you want to turn up the heat on a relationship that didn’t have any to start with?

Fulbright cautioned against giving any sweeping advice. “Only partners can figure out the best way to manage this challenge in their relationship,” she said.

“Non-monogamy may work for some, but not others. Couples need to decide how honest to be with each other, how much this matter is a dealbreaker in staying together versus not, and how much weight should be given to this issue in light of other good things they have going for them,” she added via email.

Don’t feel that all is lost if you’re in a long-term relationship. For some couples, sexual desire can grow over time if they focus on it. “It often isn’t until our 30s that we get comfortable enough to ask for what we want in bed,” Dillon said.

But I refuse to agree with anyone who thinks that married couples will stop having sex anyway so why bother prioritizing sexual attraction.

“Many couples in their 50s can explore and expand their sexuality thanks to maturity and empty nests. For couples in their 60s, 70s and beyond who are able to expand their definition of sex beyond orgasm and co-create intimacy, sex can continue to be vibrant and rich,” Dillon added via email.

sexual attraction for your partner

And keep in mind, your sexual health is a barometer of your overall health. So if you really are experiencing an inexplicable drop in sexual interest, consider talking to your medical provider. Maybe your testosterone levels really have fallen.

Whatever the source of your lack of sexual interest, just be up-front with your partner. Honesty, as it turns out, can be a turn-on (eventually).

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Boney Kapoor’s Dream Film with Diljit Dosanjh and Priyanka Chopra

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Diljit Dosanjh and Priyanka Chopra Boney Kapoor's Dream Film

Reading Time: 3 minutes Bollywood film maker Boney Kapoor, known for creating hit films like Mr. India, No Access, and Needed, is one of the business’ most compelling figures. With an immense comprehension of realistic narrating, Kapoor has reliably worked with probably the greatest names in Indian film. In any case, there was a task he imagined that elaborate two well known stars — Diljit Dosanjh and Priyanka Chopra. This coordinated effort was something Kapoor was energetic about, and the thought alone captivated fans.

The Fantasy Group Diljit Dosanjh and Priyanka Chopra
Diljit Dosanjh, the Punjabi heart breaker, is broadly perceived for his strong exhibitions in both the Punjabi entertainment world and Bollywood. He has been important for effective movies like Udta Punjab, Great Newwz, and Soorma. With his enchanting persona, superb comic timing, and normal acting abilities, Diljit has figured out how to cut a specialty for himself across various entertainment worlds.

Then again, Priyanka Chopra, one of the best worldwide symbols to rise up out of Bollywood, has made extraordinary progress universally with her job in the American television series Quantico and Hollywood movies like Baywatch and Isn’t It Heartfelt. Her flexible acting abilities, joined with her status as a worldwide diplomat for Indian film, make her an ideal co-star in any film. Chopra’s monstrous ubiquity and moxy make her an ideal matching for a gifted entertainer like Diljit.

The possibility of uniting these two stars was a thrilling possibility. Kapoor, who has forever been known to detect new ability and make a few notorious realistic encounters, imagined this pair in a film that would offer something novel to crowds.

The Inconspicuous Vision: Boney Kapoor’s Aggressive Film Thought
Boney Kapoor had imagined a task where Diljit Dosanjh and Priyanka Chopra would share the screen in a film that would be both reviving and drawing in for crowds. While insights concerning the storyline stay hush, the possibility of such a coordinated effort made buzz in the business. Kapoor was hoping to investigate a new idea where the science between the two entertainers would be at the very front.

Kapoor’s vision was to make a film with an equilibrium of show, parody, and sentiment. He had consistently put stock in making films that resounded with the majority, and with the mix of Dosanjh’s comedic timing and Chopra’s laid out fame, the task vowed to be a business and creative achievement.

Both Diljit and Priyanka are known for their capacity to rejuvenate different characters on screen, and Kapoor was sure that they would convey remarkable exhibitions in his imagined film. The possibility of mixing their on-screen presence in a solitary task captivated numerous industry specialists and fans, who were eager to see what this exceptional matching could bring to the big screen.

The Difficulties of Rejuvenating the Fantasy
While this fantasy joint effort energized fans, Boney Kapoor was likewise mindful of the moves engaged with carrying the undertaking to completion. Both Priyanka Chopra and Diljit Dosanjh are worldwide stars with occupied plans, making it challenging to facilitate their accessibility for a film. Moreover, the inventive strategy itself — from conceptualizing the story to projecting and recording — is a long and requesting venture.

Additionally, the Indian movie industry is exceptionally aggressive, with different entertainers, chiefs, and makers competing for focus and valuable open doors. Kapoor’s endeavor to make something new and different expected him to explore these difficulties while guaranteeing that the film would hang out in a generally jam-packed market.

What’s Next for Boney Kapoor’s Vision?
Albeit the film highlighting Diljit Dosanjh and Priyanka Chopra might not as yet have emerged, the thought reflects Boney Kapoor’s predictable craving to improve and team up with new ability. Kapoor has consistently upheld new ability and is ceaselessly searching for ways of advancing Bollywood’s true to life scene. While the matching of Dosanjh and Chopra stays a fantasy, fans keep on trusting that this vision will ultimately turn into a reality.

For the time being, Boney Kapoor keeps on creating effective movies and investigate novel thoughts, yet the prospect of a film featuring Diljit and Priyanka stays a tempting opportunities for what’s in store. As the two stars keep on ascending in their vocations, not at all impossible Kapoor’s fantasy venture might find its direction to the big screen sooner than we anticipate. Up to that point, aficionados of the two stars will keep on trusting that the fantasy cooperation will one day show some major signs of life.

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The White Lotus Season 3 A Steamy, Star-Studded Ride into Depravity

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The White Lotus Season 3 Trailer Teases Drama and Depravity.

Reading Time: 2 minutes HBO’s hit series, The White Lotus, is back with its eagerly awaited third season, and the primary trailer has previously set the web on fire. Known for its sharp friendly critique, wound humor, and extravagant yet disrupting get-away settings, the series takes a hazier, steamier turn in its most recent portion. Loaded with evil and a gathering cast that shouts star power, Season 3 vows to be the most provocative yet.

A Brief look at Extravagance and Disarray

The recently delivered trailer offers an enticing gander at the following part of The White Lotus adventure. Set in a beautiful tropical heaven, the visuals are completely stunning. Yet, as enthusiasts of the show know very well, excellence frequently veils a dull underside of insider facts, selling out, and moral vagueness. This season’s slogan, “Where heaven includes some major disadvantages,” indicates that the charming setting is by and by the scenery for individual disentangling and shameful ventures.

From luxurious pool gatherings to murmured intrigues under the twilight, the trailer prods scenes of guilty pleasure that definitely lead to turmoil. The extravagant retreat, which fills in as the focal center of the series, is loaded up with affluent visitors whose dull longings and secret plans gradually surface as the story unfurls.

Ritzy Cast Commitments Stalwart Exhibitions

One of the champion parts of Season 3 is its great setup of Top notch entertainers. In spite of the fact that HBO has been quiet about the full cast, brief looks at a few recognizable and new faces flash fervor. Getting back to the establishment are some fan-most loved characters from past seasons, while new ability adds new layers of interest.

Reputed cast individuals incorporate Hollywood heavyweights and rising stars, guaranteeing that watchers are blessed to receive stalwart exhibitions. The science, pressure, and grating between these characters will without a doubt fuel the show’s unique mix of show and incorrigible humor.

Investigating Corruption and Want

The White Lotus has never avoided investigating the ethically intricate existences of the super affluent. Season 3 takes this investigation considerably further, digging into topics of want, power, and human weakness. The trailer indicates unlawful undertakings, corporate double-crossing, and even components of secret and anticipation, all enclosed by the show’s unique ironical tone.

Maker Mike White, who has been the brains behind the series’ basic achievement, guarantees that Season 3 will push limits in manners that fans haven’t seen previously. “This season is tied in with stripping back the layers of want and seeing what lies underneath. It’s about how far individuals will go to get what they need,” White uncovered in a meeting.

Fans Anxiously Anticipate the Delivery

Since its introduction, The White Lotus has enamored crowds and pundits the same, piling up grants and overwhelming discussions across online entertainment. Season 3’s hot and corrupted tone, combined with a luxurious setting and charming storyline, has just intensified the expectation.

While the authority delivery date is yet to be reported, the buzz encompassing the trailer recommends that fans will not need to stand by lengthy to enjoy the most recent contribution from the White Lotus universe. Up to that point, watchers are left to hypothesize and analyze everything about the enticing first look.

Yet again prepare for one more extraordinary excursion loaded up with show, debauchery, and degeneracy – The White Lotus is going to rethink heaven.

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Rihanna Rocks $175 Designer Crocs on Beverly Hills Shopping Spree with A$AP Rocky

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Rihanna Rocks $175 Designer Crocs on Beverly Hills Spree .

Reading Time: 2 minutes Once more rihanna, the worldwide music symbol and style tycoon, has demonstrated her status as a trailblazer by venturing out in $175 creator Crocs during a shopping binge in Beverly Slopes. Joined by her accomplice, rapper A$AP Rough, the artist knocked some people’s socks off as she displayed her novel style, mixing top of the line design with ordinary solace.

A Striking Design Explanation
The Crocs being referred to are not your standard sets of elastic stops up. Planned by Salehe Bembury, the high-style cycle of the exemplary footwear includes a sculptural, wave-like plan and comes enhanced with custom Jibbitz charms. These frill, known for adding character to Crocs, included all that from shimmering gemstones to unusual shapes, making Rihanna’s pair stand apart much more.

Rihanna matched the articulation footwear with an easily stylish ensemble, demonstrating that solace and couture can exist together. Her look incorporated a curiously large coat, a smooth top, and popular shades, making a laid-back yet cleaned vibe. This gathering grandstands Rihanna’s capacity to hoist easygoing pieces into high design, an ability that has procured her inescapable deference.

Rihanna: The Sovereign of Startling Design
This isn’t whenever Rihanna first has caused disturbances with her intense design decisions. Known for her valiant way to deal with style, the vocalist frequently integrates startling components into her closet, reclassifying patterns all the while. From impressive honorary pathway outfits to restless streetwear, Rihanna’s style sense keeps on dazzling fans and industry insiders the same.

The choice to wear originator Crocs lines up with a developing pattern in the design world, where solace centered footwear has become the dominant focal point. What used to be considered practical and unglamorous is currently a staple in big name closets, because of coordinated efforts with high-profile fashioners and supports from style symbols like Rihanna.

The Ascent of Architect Crocs
Crocs, once consigned to cultivating and easygoing homewear, have encountered a significant restoration lately. Coordinated efforts with originators like Salehe Bembury, Balenciaga, and Christopher Kane have changed the brand into a style peculiarity. These high-design versions keep up with the solace Crocs are known for while adding novel, creative components that allure for style-cognizant purchasers.

The $175 sticker price for Rihanna’s Crocs mirrors their status as an extravagance thing. For some, it’s about the shoe as well as about claiming a piece of style history. Rihanna’s decision to wear them further hardens their position in the standard, raising them from specialty style to a high priority frill.

A$AP Rough’s Organized Style
A$AP Rough, who is similarly known for his in vogue sensibilities, supplemented Rihanna’s look with his own slick outfit. Together, the couple oozed easy cool, exhibiting their common enthusiasm for pushing the limits of design.

End
Rihanna’s Beverly Slopes outing in $175 originator Crocs is one more illustration of her capacity to start precedents and reclassify style standards. By embracing solace without forfeiting style, she keeps on moving fans all over the planet to explore different avenues regarding their own closets. Whether it’s marvelous couture or raised casualwear, Rihanna demonstrates on numerous occasions that she’s truly amazing.

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